Lauren With a Side of Lewy

by Lauren U,

PAC Core Team Member

Everyone in the house is asleep except me. Eddy dreams and the dogs rest in peaceful slumber. All I want is to sleep. The house is full of activity even when it appears uninhabited. The howls and moans and whispers and pounding and laughter keep me scared and awake. They keep reminding me that all is not safe nor well. Reassurance means nothing if it doesn't stop the noise in my head, in my home, in my world. I only want to sleep. Nightmares lose their power once awake. There is no relief from the fear when it is provided for daily consumption. I cannot chase a monster I cannot touch. I cannot keep stuffing the edges to keep them out when it has been proven unsuccessful. Up and down. Up and down. All of the banging on the walls, groaning on the staircase, mocking me in my home and daring me to step forward is their daily task. I copy their words but don't know what I mean. I only want sleep.